My name is Kevin J. Dolan

Feb. 14, 2014

Which Space Food Are You?

You aren't space food, you are a human being god dammit.

It's a link!

Jan. 24, 2014

6 Tips For Writing Your Own Programming Language

  1. Don't.
  2. Don't.
  3. Don't.
  4. Don't.
  5. Ask yourself, "Should I do this?"
  6. Don't.

It's a link!

Jan. 17, 2014

This Just In: The NSA Is Collecting All Information

Everytime we learn something new the NSA is collecting, we have to write about it, so I figured I'd just cover all of it here. They're recording everything. That's it. If it's recordable, they got it. They especially collectin':

  1. Gasoline records
  2. All of your cat videos
  3. Your childhood memories
  4. Your Japanese girlfriend's number... WHAT WHAT!
  5. Your Japanese grandfather's wisdom
  6. Your Japanese sister's number... WHAT WHAT!
  7. All your sick Tech Deck TM skills
  8. Yo' Trust

It's a link!

Jan. 12, 2014

But Seriously, What Are The Standard LaunchImage Names and Sizes for IOS?

NOW YOU KNOW

It's a link!

Dec. 19, 2013

How the hell do you print on a Konica Minolta C220 with OSX Mavericks?

  1. Install driver. It appears to succeed.
  2. Search gmail history for user and password codes. Lookup IP address on office website.
  3. Hit print. Nowhere to enter user and password codes.
  4. Google about where to enter user and password codes. No answers.
  5. Watch a video on company website. Menus look nothing alike.
  6. Google things like "How the hell do I print?" Discover this printer does not work on OSX Mavericks.
  7. Install Windows 7 on a Virtual Machine.
  8. Install printer driver from company website.
  9. Open PDF. Need to install PDF reader.
  10. While you're at it, install Yahoo Toolbar, SLOW-PC Fighter, Backup Assistant Pro, Super Backup, PC Optimizer Pro for good measure.
  11. Hit print. Nowhere to enter user and password code. Print anyway.
  12. Go to printer, click button that says Job List. Nothing Happens.
  13. Click button that says details, which shows you the job list.
  14. Job number #54625 could be yours. Says "Error - GP." Thank god.
  15. Back to computer, in print menu, click Preferences > Basic tab > User Settings butto. Enter user code and password. Hit print.
  16. Paper jam warning. Get certified as a printer mechanic. Remove paper jam.
  17. Look through Job List. Remember, the button is labeled "Details. "Error - GP." Cool.
  18. Delete user and password codes in User Settings. Enter user and password codes in "Authentication/Account Track."
  19. Hit print. Hear printer noise. Go to printer. It's a piece of paper with the text "Janies 10 minute workout plan." Place in pile.
  20. Wait 10 minutes.
  21. Job List (Details). "Error - Timeout"
  22. Repeat 18-20.
  23. Hear printer noise. Get excited. Run PC Optimizer Scan with no interaction necessary..
  24. Die.

BUT SURE, 3D PRINTERS WILL BE EASY TO USE

It's a link!

Dec. 10, 2013

1 TIPS FOR #VIRAL GROWTH

  1. Build SELFIE CHALLENGE.

It's a link!

Dec. 09, 2013

Effectively Using Asana for Task Management

Minimalism is great. Use Asana, because it LACKS unncessary features.

It's a link!

Nov. 02, 2013

I AM ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING

THAT'S HOW FUNNY I THINK THIS IS.

THIS IS AN INNAPPROPRIATE EMOTIONAL REACTION TO FIRE.

ECSTACY IS AWESOME.

THEY HATIN'.

It's a link!

Nov. 01, 2013

"I may run for president in 2016" -Steve Jobs

Steve Jobs announced today that he may run for president in 2016, pending further research and personal exploration on the matter.

Steve Jobs answered in a super-secret interview, "Not only am I alive, I'm running for president...well I'm not sure about that yet. I may run for president in 2016."

He followed this, unprompted on the subject of his childhood, "When I was a kid, everybody made fun of me. Well, who's laughing now?"

It's a link!

Oct. 25, 2013
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